Be fearless in the pursuit of happiness

Being fearless in the pursuit of happiness should be something we all should be able to do, but like with many things saying it is much easier than doing it. For so long I have worried about other people’s opinions, have tried to live up to other people’s standards and punished myself if I haven’t lived up to these. This has done nothing for my happiness and has forever held me back in finding happiness.

As a child I was brought up as a Christian and honestly believed I needed to punish myself every time I made a mistake or I would go to hell. I now have learnt to respect all religions, whilst being able to formulate my own ideas about them and not take it all too literally. I do believe in something, but to be honest I really don’t know what exactly. I don’t know why we feel that we should punish ourselves for not living up to standards which are often unattainable, we are only human after all and why should be always be fearful. The perception of the world around you is left up to your own interpretation.

As I have got older I noticed happy people don’t seem to put as much focus on what others think, they tend to do just ‘do’. Life isn’t about material possessions to make you happy and won’t lead happiness and I’m a great believer it’s about the experiences of life instead. I’m always trying now to just enjoy the moment and not try to worry about pointless material goods which actually don’t feel any gaps in your life long-term. I won’t look back in ten years and have fond memories of a silly priced handbag I bought, but instead will think back to a holiday with my children or a trip away with friends.

Everything is the world is temporary, the good and the bad and to find happiness we need to take the good with the bad and remember we can’t fully appreciate happiness unless we have also felt sadness. It’s fine to go through a  tough time, it teaches you important life lessons we need to learn, from every difficult time we have gone through in our lives it has shaped, moulded us and taught us something new.

To find happiness you need to do what you love, and if you don’t I think it’s important to make small changes where you can. We need to invest in ourselves and make sure we are doing something for our souls that we gain something from. If you hate your job then please find something else to do, but if that isn’t a possibility make sure you have time to still do stuff you love. Find a creative outlet, study something you love or go places that will make you smile. Everyone can be creative with something, it’s not just about making or creating, but about writing, building, dancing, music, photography, baking, colouring etc. Everyone can find a creative outlet.

To be truly happy I believe you need to be present and it’s something I have written about many times before and it’s something I am forever trying to remind myself. To be depressed you are living in the past and not letting your life flourish and grow. The little moments of happiness in life are the memories that you want to look back on, nothing else. It’s not easy to find a good balance of how to reflect on your past and look to your future, but I think it’s valuable and productive.

I believe it’s more work to be unhappy than to be happy. If you are sad, looking back on all that is wrong in your past you are just using lots of energy in a negative way. Being happy takes time and involves lots of dedication in yourself, but you can change your life if you are willing to. Don’t com-pare your lives against others and their progress, set small goals, look at the overall picture and be patient. Be fearless in the pursuit of happiness, you have nothing to lose.

photography credit to Ricky Lee Photography 

 

Be fearless in the pursuit of happiness

Facebooktwitterpinterestlinkedinrssinstagram
Keeping a positive mind-set is not easy and something I've always struggle with. I have learnt over the last few months skills through CBT on how to keep positive and not let the negative thoughts take over.

Shutting down the negative thoughts

Keeping a positive mind-set is not easy and something I’ve always struggle with. I have learnt over the last few months skills through CBT on how to keep positive and not let the negative thoughts take over. For some reason us humans especially women often hear a negative thought in our heads and never think to question it and we perceive it as fact. With CBT you learn to question these thought and recognise them, as sometimes they are so quick it’s hard to even pin point them until you become aware. When ever I have a negative thought like for example ‘I’m a rubbish mum’ What I do is question it, what is the evidence that I am a rubbish mum? How can I disprove it? It’s working wonders for my mind-set and it has shown me my life through a new set of eyes.

On Thursday I went to a workshop at The British Library in London ‘Turn your passion into pounds’ hosted by Vicki from the multi award-winning blog www.honestmum.com and Jessica Huie (MBE) a PR goddess. The evening was packed full of useful information and the panel of ladies giving advice was 5 star. It was so lovely to hear the passion in these ladies voices, whilst they told us their stories of how they started up on their own and became a success in their own right.

I left buzzing with excitement about the prospects of my website and blog, how I plan to grow it and how I can make it work for me. I have been thinking heavily on the workshop and why I have always had such a limited view of my abilities. I am forever questioning myself, when the only person who is holding me back is me. I am constantly held back by my own self-doubt, fear of failure and other people’s perceived opinions of me, but if I don’t try I have just failed anyway, so sod it, lets give it a go.

I will be continuing to push myself out of my comfort zone and not let the negative thoughts try to ruin my dreams. I’m passionate about what I do and want to help people, whilst I help myself to overcome mental illness obstacles, that limit me from achieving not only normal day to day things, but also my dreams. Any negative thought you have, shut it down, don’t believe it and do what you want to do. Life is too short and too difficult as it is without listening to these horrible little negative voices in our heads. We own our own happiness and we have the tools to succeed in life.

My aspiration is to have a website full of motivational posts, help and advice on postnatal depression and reviews from products I actually love and enjoy. I am ready to go and I am no longer scared of the prospects of my future.

Facebooktwitterpinterestlinkedinrssinstagram