We decided we would go for a lovely family meal just a family of four to Frankie and Benny’s. I was extremely prepared and booked a table at a reasonable 6pm and made sure I had Mr T’s babygrow to change him into for when he would no doubt fall asleep on the way home. The idea of a meal out together sounded like a lovely treat but this was only because enough time had passed to forget since our last attempt.
I must admit this meal out was nowhere near as bad as one a few years previous when Miss J decided to projectile vomit as our meals were served at the table, but it was anything but stress free. We were sitted in a booth so I decided to trap Miss J in one end, but for her this just meant she could be more of a pain in the ass by dunking under the table every few minutes.
As us mums do I quickly scanned through the kids menu and ordered the kids meals to come at the same time as our main meal. I picked the first thing I saw after only picking up the menu for myself when the waitress was already there. Obviously we had to order the kids some liquid crack (robinsons fruit shoots) and I watched Mr T pratically hyperventilate at the sight of the bottle. Miss J announced that she needed a wee which was one of three trips to pee and poo we had to do through the meal.
Then we had the wait which in fairness wasn’t long, but obviously the adults meals came out first so the kids got in a ass and when the kids came out they were pretty much the same temperature as lava. Between me and hubby we spent the next five minutes cutting and desperately trying to cool food down whilst Mr T totally lost his shit. Lucky Miss J is pretty self sufficient besides her piping up every now and then asking for more ‘catshit’ (ketchup). Mr T was chucking half eaten bits of pizza on my own plate and shaking his liquid crack all over the place. Once he got bored of his own pizza he then decided to just steal bits of mine whilst rubbing it all over her hair. It’s amazing how quickly as a mother you can eat a whole pizza when under pressure.
As the kids did actually eat most their meal we decided to order desserts. We had a young loved up couple sitting next to us enjoying a meal when Miss J decided to shove a whole wooden menu display at them whilst giving them the dirtiest of looks, as by now she was getting tired and grumpy. We didn’t wait for desserts for long and got Miss J a build your own icecream and kept Mr T quiet with sweets. Unsurprisingly this part of the meal was over pretty quickly so I went off to get Mr T changed into his babygrow whilst hubby paid for the bill. If anyone knows my husband he isn’t the most outspoken so obviously he hadn’t succeeded in paying the bill yet in my absence and Mr T had, had a taste of freedom and was as high as a kite running around like a crazy person in the restaurant in his babygrow. We paid quickly and got out as soon as we could and Miss J managed to steal and handful of balloons on sticks.
On the way home we had a few tears at the start as Miss J wanted the light inside the car as she was scared, but not long into the drive we had two sleeping children and peace at last. I think I’ll give it a few months before we attempt an evening meal out again.