I was thinking back to a recent night out I had with some mum friends and realised how things have truly changed.
Pre kids: Picking the shortest dress and highest heels I could find in New Look. Also needing to make the most of my tiny chest by wearing a gel bra. Who said you couldn’t have legs and boobs out.
Post Kids: Picking a dress out from Next that is not only comfortable, but is also wearable for doing the shool run. Wearing a nursing bra out or just a comfortable non underwired one as you don’t risk getting a blocked milk duct. Wearing your trusted Spanx the whole night just so your jelly belly is a little bit more controlled unlike your bladder these days.
Pre kids: Spending three hours to get ready by having a lovely long bath, then relaxing doing your makeup whilst having a drink and listening to your favourite music.
Post kids: Frantically getting ready whilst getting the kids dinners and one boob hanging out with the baby attached. Changing your outfit about ten times until you end up sticking to your favourite dress that covers your mummy tummy the best. Putting on your extra comfortable shoes with a gel insole just in case.
Pre kids: Rolling into town at 11pm for a quick drink in a pub then straight to a nightclub. Being pretty much paralytic before even getting in the nightclub spending the whole time on the dance floor or outside a lot in the smoking area talking to lots of random people about some kind of crap and posing for a load of pictures taken by the toilet lady and deciding to buy ten lollies from her. Leaving at 2am and deciding its time to sober up with a sub way. The night is still young so you head off to a house party around a friend of friends and sleep on the sofa.
Post kids: Starting off somewhere classy at 8pm with cocktails whilst you spend the whole time talking about your kids. Forever looking for your changing bag and feeling odd not walking whilst pushing something. As the night progresses you then get tipsy and want to find a good pub that you can dance to cheesy music in. You end up attracting random young people, which you decide to give them the words of your wisdom and show them pictures of your babies. The merrier you get the old you comes out and you think its a good idea to have a shot. You do some amazing mum dancing to Lady Gaga Just Dance thinking your back in 2009. Eventually the lights turn on and you get told its time to go home by the bouncer which you obviously flirt with and you get a taxi home which you either fall asleep in or talk the whole way home about your kids to the poor driver. You get home and pass out probably still wearing your makeup.
Pre Kids: Get up, get a lift home, have a bacon sandwhich and go back to bed till 1pm. Wake up around 3pm and be ready for it all over again.
Post Kids: Wake up with your head spinning and slightly confused. Taking some paracetomol and having the strongest coffee you can stomach. Having to pump your rock solid engorged boobs and letting the kids watch whatever the hell they like on TV for the rest of the day. The hangover starts to lift around 2-4 days after the event.