The great dummy debate

I am open to admit that I have a dummy addict! Mr T loves his dummy as much as he loves his boobie milk, which again he doesn’t plan on stopping anytime soon. Mr T is 18 months old now and I’m feeling the pressure when out that he is being seen as too old from some people to have the plastic thing shoved in his gob.

Am I a lazy parent for still letting him have his dummy? Possibly on some level I am, but it provides him comfort when tired or teething and means that my ears get a break from him whingeing for five minuets then that’s fine with me. If you don’t like it then shove off, as I honestly don’t see the problem. Too many people seem to think that they can tell you what to do on parenting when we all know that one size does not fit all.

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My own mother hates dummies and I never had one as a child so instead I used to try to fit my fist in my mouth (I can still do it now, classy) and my teeth were ruined. In total I had four braces from ages 9 through to 14 and I still have one on the back of my teeth. I think I would prefer that my child has a dummy which van be taken away instead of a thumb, fingers or fist. Since Mr T has come along she has changed her stance on dummies.

For me in the baby days it gave me a chance to comfort my baby whilst out and about when I didn’t have the chance to feed my baby immediately. I know for many breastfeeding mums they have felt able to feed where ever and when ever, but for me I wanted to be sat somewhere comfortable and discreet to feed. That is purely a personal preference and I admire people who can feed openly.

Mr T was given his dummy a couple of days after being born just like his big sister. I was told by a midwife with Miss J that I may as well give up breastfeeding there and then for giving her a dummy before we were established breastfeeding, well she got to year breastfeeding so I believe that to be a load of old tosh. If it wasn’t for the dummy and me getting a break from comfort sucking I wouldn’t have probably carried on past a couple of weeks so for me it was my saviour.

Mr T become very attached to his affectionately called ‘doo-doo’ soon after birth, as with his reflux the suckling eased the pain for him. Now he’s talking more I am making a conscious effort to take it away from him so it doesn’t hinder him in any way, but at bed time the dummy comes out plus a spare for his hand and he happily sleeps a full twelve hours for me, every night.

The time will come when we have to say goodbye to his dummy, but whilst he naps in the day happily we won’t be parting ways anytime soon. I had made the promise with myself that when Miss J stopped her daytime naps we would say goodbye to her dummy and at 3 years and 2 weeks old it happened and she accepted it well. We said goodbye to them and chucked them away and she happily become a ‘big girl’. I think Mr T might be a little harder to get off the dummy when the time comes, but as it stands now he is happy which makes me happy.

 

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31 thoughts on “The great dummy debate

  1. I have always hated dummies and was adamant that I would never use one – until my first arrived that is 🙂
    Motherhood teaches you to keep all your theories and judgements to yourself! You realise everyone is just doing their best to survive 🙂 I wouldn’t have survived without our dummies and it didn’t interfere with breastfeeding at all. At 20 months breastfeeding is still going strong and we ditched the dummies when we felt she was ready. I say do what is best for your family and forget the naysayers 😉 #marvmondays

  2. My daughter is three in January and she loves her dummy. It’s her favorite thing in the world. I only let her have it at bedtime now despite her asking for it constantly throughout he day and her eyes light up as soon as she sees it (is have to shit it away on the cupboard). I know I should take it away from her completely but she shares a room withher brother at present and she won’t sleep without which means that neither will he and I’mean not ready to face us all being up all night when my four year old with additional needs has only just started sleeping through. Lazy? Maybe. But that’s my prerogative 😉

    #marvmondays

  3. My three children all had/have dummies and I don’t see it as a problem. My daughter was 3 years and about 9 months when she gave it up. My 2.5 year old only has them at night now but my 1 year old is still addicted most of the day. I don’t see a problem with it. They’re not going to go to school with a dummy in their mouth, the dentist said my daughter’s teeth were fine and if people disapprove, well, let them! Interesting post, thank you. #MarvMondays

    1. My dentist said she wouldn’t be worried about it until they reached about five. As long as they aren’t trying to talk with it in as that’s when it can cause problems with speak. You do what you have to do to get through the day x

  4. If it gives a little one a bit of comfort what’s the harm? Evie was about 16 months when I took hers away but just replaced it with bottles until she was about two and a half so that wasn’t all that good either but she isn’t a thumb sucker or anything now. If my next child takes one I will give them one too. #MarvMonday
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  5. It’s a hard one. I too had a dummy addict. Thankfully he adapted well when we introduced the dummy fairy!
    People who are opinionated on this really get my goat. Everybody’s circumstances are different and their reasons for dummies are unique to them. Criticism is thrown around so freely with this topic. You have to do what’s right for you and your baby. #marvmondays
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    1. Have you tried different brands. Mr T has been a dummy snob and always preferred the mam ones as they have silk teats. He’s breastfed and when he did take a bottle as a little baby they were the only bottles he would have too. The car journeys with a dummy are much easier x

  6. I think your approach sounds really sensible. My daughter had a dummy from approx 2 weeks old because she wouldn’t settle. She breastfed fine until I (or she) chose to wean off. I took her dummy away in the day time at about 8 months but she had it for naps and night time until she hit 20 months. The reason I took it away was she was chewing every single one to bits so it was dangerous. She was ready to let it go and it went smoothly because of that. Your son will give it up when he is ready, like your daughter did. If any single person judges you then that’s their issue! #FamilyFun
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  7. Thanks for this post. My son is turning 2 next week and I’ve been starting to fret over his dummy addiction. But I also think that he needs to be a bit older to give it up – so he can understand the concept of saying goodbye to it and moving on. You’ve made me feel less like I need to worry. I’m just going to make sure he has it less in the day so it doesn’t bother his speech. #familyfun

  8. I’m not really a dummy fan, but that being said my daughter sucks her thumb and I did try to introduce one at 4 months when we were having a hard time with her napping, but she rejected it. I’ve also been given the lecture about how it will cause teeth problems but I’ve a friend who sucked her thumb and she’s never had braces. Plus I think it’s cute and easy to tell when she’s tired. I saw a child wearing a school uniform at the shops sucking a dummy once and was quite shocked as most of my friends removed them from their children apart from for nap times when they were toddlers. At the end of the day, if we have another and they need a dummy then so be it. Happy child = happy mummy! #FamilyFun

  9. I didn’t use a dummy for my first, I admit I was being a first time my child won’t have a dummy mum. Ha well that lasted… my second had a dummy and it was the best thing I did. He too had reflux and a lot of pain from it and I do believe it helped soothe him. He is 16 months and still has it, mostly st night and nap times but sometimes just because. Mainly because he is screaming at me. I still haven’t thought about taking t off him. To me it’s still as though he is a baby – although he’s not. I think I will know when the time is right for us and only then will I take it away. Thanks for sharing at #familyfun
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  10. I always had as many dummies as I could fit on my hands when I was a toddler and I think my mum was the bad parent that let me keep them until I was in school! Neither of my children have really taken to a dummy and I’m kinda glad because I didn’t want to have the clingyness and trauma of separating them eventually like myy mum had to deal with when I had my tantrums haha. Again I think it’s just each parent and child’s personal preferences and opinions 🙂 #MarvMondays
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  11. I read this as my 2 year old dummy addict lies next to me. I have been contemplating how to get rid of it! She is the only one of my 4 that ever took to a dummy. I’ll be honest.. I’m a little nervous for that day! Thanks for sharing #globalblogging

  12. I completely agree with you. If I didn’t have a dummy I would have been really depressed by the constant breastfeeding, my son was a milk monster it was allllll the time. It makes you feel trapped and lonely at times. I definitely think there is a need for some children to use the dummy, like you say, one size does not fit all. My son mostly uses the dummy for naps and sometimes when he is poorly during the day but I try my hardest to limit it to nap time. Then when he stops napping during the day I’ll look to take it away. I think dummies are a lifesaver and want to kiss the person who invented them! Haha thanks for sharing with #GlobalBlogging!
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  13. I can completely relate to this post! I was a little anti-dummy before I had children, but I havent given them to both of my babies and they have worked in our favour both times! I breastfed both our babies (still feeding baby no.2 now) and both of them would have comfort sucked/fed if we didnt have the dummy which I personally dont think is a great thing for them or me. Its also been great for helping them both sleep so I dont regret using them for one minute. We got rid of the dummy when our eldest was around 2 (I think) and will try and do the same again with the second 🙂 Great post, thanks for sharing it on #MarvMondays. Emily

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