The supermum does not exsist

Since I became a mum five years ago I have noticed the media has shoved this supermum ideal down our throats, making us feel we need to compete and I’m so sick of it. I’m certain this idea has been around longer than I have, but I believe media, social and mainstream have so much to answer for. This competiveness takes the actual goal of being a good mum and instead turns it into some race that will cause upset and guilt. We need to stop comparing ourselves and instead enjoy our own journeys as mums and treasure the time with our children before they grow far too quickly.

Here our some common misconceptions the media want us to believe.

  1. To be supermum you need to ‘snap back’ into your pre baby body so you can ‘flaunt’ your ‘enviable figure’ on the school run. If you are lucky enough to get back into your pre baby clothes 6 weeks after baby or like me two years later you still haven’t, it really doesn’t matter and your child is not judging you by your mum tum, personally I find my mum tum handy for balancing Mr T.
  2. To be Supermum you need to have a job and be mum and do them both with 100% enthusiasm and never compromise. If you are working full time with a baby in nursery or you stay at home, you are working and it’s hard. Do what works for your family and don’t feel guilty if you can’t do it all, it’s hard.
  3. To be supermum you need to breastfeed your baby and have photographic evidence on Facebook showing everyone that you decided to give your baby the best. You also need to bottle feed when out so you don’t offend anyone with a slight nip slip.  Which ever way you feed your baby there seems to be some judgement, stick with what works for you and enjoy your own feeding journey.
  4. To be supermum you need a home like a show home, no toys in sights and everything in it’s perfect place. You also need to buy every new toy in sight and have photographic proof at Christmas and birthdays on social media. If you can afford it, buy it, but try and remember that time spent with children is more valuable.
  5. To be supermum you still need to look good, all the time, hair done, no roots, nails and make up should still be high on your to do list. Personally I do enjoy getting dressed up when I can and I make sure I take a picture for proof that I do actually look nice some time. If you just want to rock a messy bun for the next few years and make up is more like hassle then so be it.
  6. To be supermum you need be the crafting queen, sow, knit, baker, masterchef champion and sporting Olympian. Very few people can do them all, find something you enjoy and stick with it, don’t let Pinterest take over your life.
  7. To be a supermum you need to stop your child from having a dummy or a bottle past 18 months otherwise you are in the lazy parent category. It seems everyone has a opinion on this, but be realistic and do what works for you.

Social media is a polished version, no one is going to upload a picture with a pile of washing in the background, it’s edited to make it look better than it is. Media outlets will always pit women against each other as it get’s the clicks/sales and starts heated debates. We all supermum in our own ways and all have our own battles.

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What to look forward to as your children grow

Watching your children grow can be bittersweet, I love watching them grow and become their own little people with their own likes and dislikes, but I often feel sad that another phase is over and they are growing too quickly. The truth is I love a baby, I love the cuddles, the smell, the kisses and I even love the excitement of labour (not the pain), but like any other human I find them exhausting, draining and I have often missed having to give up such a big part of me. I don’t feel guilty for these thoughts anymore as I have every right to feel like this and being a parent to small children is relentless and hard at times. I now savour the time I do get a break from being a mum, which is rarely, but it’s ok as they will only be this young once and one day things will change, not to how they were before children, but they will change as they grow with a new set of challenges. I’ve written a list of what I have to look forward to as my little ones grow to full fledged teenagers.

The things I will look forward to as my children grow. 

  1. No more toys in the living room. This has got to be one of the things I look forward to most. My living room is filled with plastic junk and no matter what I do with the stuff it always looks un-kept and cluttered. The day I say goodbye to Toot-toot will be a good day.
  2. No more nappies or reminding someone to go for a wee. Nappies are a complete ball-ache and after that’s done you have the fun job of potty training to undertake. I can’t wait to be done with buying nappies, nappy sacks and nappy rash cream.
  3. No more changing bag! I love bags and even love my changing bag (I’ve had a few), but I’m looking forward to the day of not having to remember to take my purse out to put in my handbag for work. I have so many beautiful bags that’s rarely make an appearance these days.
  4. No more dummys. Not everyone goes down this route but I would love to turn up to work and not find a stray dummy in my pocket and having to do the dummy hunt behind the cot every night.
  5. Go out for a meal and eat my dinner hot. I try to take my kids out for meals so it becomes normal for them and they are pretty well-behaved, but it’s stressful and I usually end up eating my meal cold. God forbid you have a long wait and a screaming hangry toddler.
  6. Lay-ins! I know some people are early risers and I applaud you, but I’m five years into parenting and am still not an early starter. My children are great and generally never wake until 7am and sometimes even 8am at the weekend, but I look forward to the day of having to wake them up.
  7. Not having to persuade them to eat their food. Meal times with our oldest can be exhausting as she has a limited diet and is an extremely fussy eater. I hold onto hope one day she will just eat normally and I won’t have to bribe her.
  8. No more bath toys. Bath toys are ruining my life, the mould when water gets stuck, the space they take and the intruders in my bath tub when I’m trying to relax.
  9. privacy. The day will come when I get pee in peace, bath on my own and not have to dress in front of an audience. As this day comes the children will probably putting up their own boundaries of privacy away from me.
  10. No more school run. I enjoying having a chat with other mum’s, but as of next year I’ve got a much longer walk to school and I expect I will probably be late most mornings. It will be lovely when the day comes that I can pack them off and say goodbye.
  11. No more having to dress small people. I look forward to the day that the children can dress and coordinate themselves. Miss J can dress herself with most clothes but her style when left to her own devices often resembles a pink marshmallow. Mr T on the other hand just prefers not to wear clothes at all.
  12. They can feed themselves. Some days all I seem to do is try to fill my children with endless supplies of food yet all I hear is ‘i’m still hungry’. Life will be good when they just feed themselves.
  13. Freedom again to be husband and wife. As the children get older I know it will be easier to leave them and that is something I look forward to most, I can’t wait to spend time with just my husband again and be a couple for date nights.
  14. Getting my bed back. First thing when I wake up the kids are in our bed jumpy all over us and often Miss J finds her way into our bed at night. It will be nice when our bed is just ours again.
  15. Saying goodbye to Peppa pig and all those other terrible programs. I can’t wait to not watch kids TV, but I worry it will probably be replaced by some other rubbish.

The things I will not look forward to as my child grows

  1. No more pushchair for carrying my shopping bags. The day I say goodbye to my pushchair will a sad day as it has helped me on many a shopping trip. I’ve had seven in total and finally found my perfect one (Mamas and Papas Armadillo City).
  2. When the cuddles start to disappear it will be tough, but I live in hope as they become adults, again the cuddles will follow.
  3. Holding their hands. I love walking along and holding my children’s hands, but Miss J is keen to pull away as soon as she sees her friends at school.
  4. Letting them out and having curfews. I was a nightmare and I’m dreading trying tot find the balance of giving them freedom that is fair and also safe.
  5. Finding dirty plates in their rooms. I don’t know why, but most teenagers seem to do it and it’s something my husband still does today which drives me crazy.
  6. Moody teenagers and backchat really fills me full of dread. I was such a ‘Kevin’ as a teenager and from Miss J’s diva strops she has now I can see her being a challenge.
  7. Being eaten out of house and home. With teenage growth spurts comes teenage superfast metabolism and I’m guessing if these children grow like weeds as I did then my food bill will be going through the roof.
  8. Mum’s taxi. I hear it often from parents of older children and living a good 15 minuets away from anything and a rubbish bus route I expect I will be doing lots of driving about.
  9.  Homework or getting them to sit down and focus enough to do it. I hated homework at school and am not looking forward to trying to motivate someone else to do it,

Parents of older children do you have anything else you can think of?

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Stupid things I said before children

Stupid things I said before children

I said many a stupid thing before children and I hear many other pre-child women say the same, I just nod along politely and smile as I know one day they will reflect on their old naive selves and laugh. We really believed we wouldn’t shout at our children in the park like ‘that’ mum or feed a child that horrible junk from McDonald’s. When I looked after my friends children I always thought I was going to be the best mum and it wasn’t really that hard, the thing is, that it is easy to be the best mum when you only have to do it for 24 hours, but when you are parenting every day it’s not such an easy job. You soon realise you have to adapt to your child, the circumstances and that you have to pick your battles wisely. Parenting is a relentless and exhausting and we had to back track on those stupid things we said before children.

  • I will not bribe my children to be good. I will literally bribe my children for anything including ten minuets peace.
  • I will always make sure my children are neat and tidy before leaving the house. One thing I’ve never been able to stand is snotty noses and messy hair, but now if the children are out the door and we are on time we are winning. Miss J has also discovered ‘fashion’ and will dress herself in some terrible mismatched outfits.
Fashion
  • I will set boundaries and go to the toilet and bath on my own. LOL this is something I have failed at in every way. If I’m in the toilet I am never alone and often my daughter will ask if I need my mummy nappy (pad). Bathtime is like a strange hot tub party from college days, lots of naked people and most probably some bodily fluid be bathed in.
  • I will not use a dummy once they turn one. I was always adamant that past the age of one my children would not have a dummy as it looks ridiculous and is lazy parenting. Again I have failed at this and Miss J had a dummy until three and Mr T is still a dummy addict at two. Having a dummy means he sleeps, he has comfort and I get some peace. I couldn’t care less what anyones opinion is on this now.
Dummy addict
  • I will not breastfeed in public without a cover. I have happily breastfed my child anywhere and everywhere including in a church, a farm and even in the middle of a football match. If a baby needs feeding just go ahead and feed.
  • I will not swear in front of my children. This started well for me until Miss J turned into a diva at three. She knows some swear words, knows they are not to be used and knows that mummy isn’t perfect and has said them before. unfortunately it isn’t a reality for a child not to hear a swear word so my moto is to teach them its naughty and that mummy is sometimes naughty by saying them.
  • I will not shout at my children. I hate shouting, but unfortunately at times I am the shouty mum, I’m not saying it’s right, but we are all human and parenting is tough. Again I try to explain my actions and I am always first to apologise if I am not happy with how I behaved.
  • I will cook them fresh meals and if they don’t eat it they will go hungry. This started so well with Miss J then she decided she hated everything besides chicken nuggets. Mr T just eats whatever he can get even if it is off the floor or from the cats bowl.
mmmm chocolate
  • We will do lots of creating and making. I am artistic, but I am also a control freak. We start off so well but then it quickly turns into me getting stressed and someone crying. We leave all that to school unless I feel optimistic enough to try again.
  • I will not let my child watch too much TV. My child is babysat by the TV, she still talks, is intelligent, can role play with toys and her brain is not mush.
  • I will still have time for myself. For a long time I didn’t and it was hard, but finally I do have time for me again and I love it. I don’t get as much time to myself as I thought I would though and that’s fine as it won’t be forever.
  • I won’t dress like a mum and will still do my make-up. I still try to wear nice clothes when I have somewhere decent to go, but if it’s school run and chores I will be in jeans and my converse. Again I wear make-up, but unless I have somewhere to go it’s nothing fancy.
  • I won’t let my child sleep in my bed. We have pretty much broke this habit besides the odd night, but for a good year Miss J only slept in our bed and Mr T always ended up in our bed to breastfeed for the first 9 months. Four in a bed isn’t comfy, but it sure is cosy.
  • My living room will still be tidy. My house looks like a unicorn pucked in it, full of sparkles, purple and pink. My living room resembles Toy ‘R’ Us and is rammed full of cheap plastic tat.
  • If that was my child screaming in a restaurant I would take it outside. I’m sorry but I take my children out for lunches and sometimes an early dinner, but if they act up I can’t do much about it. They need to learn and the only way is letting them out in the real world.

What silly things did you say before children?

 

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Maybe baby number three?

Maybe baby number three?

We have one of each a perfect pigeon pair, yet still we get asked if baby number three will come. It’s a question I still ask myself  lots and even I’m not 100% sure on what the outcome will be. Every few months a new baby is born in my friendship social circle, I have baby showers and christenings filling up my weekends and my Facebook feed is full of squishy gorgeous little newborns and my womb is aching for baby number three. At the age of 29 motherhood and everything baby is in full swing and I cannot, not see it. I am forever feeling friends babies kick in their mummy’s tummy’s and getting to cradle a gorgeous ball of sweet-smelling, squishiness and even my own baby (two a few days ago) still resembles a baby at times. Mr T is in a fresh baby grow and having cuddles before bed is literally my favourite moment of the day.

Will this feeling fade when all my friends finally stop having babies, we again get our weekends back and are able to socialize without a children’s party of soft play in sight? Am I just a broody person and no matter how many babies I have I’ll never not stop wanting another one more? I think maybe now my youngest has turned two I am feeling a little lost, I know a year will pass in a heartbeat and he’ll be waving me off and starting pre-school and I’ll have the feeling of an empty nest. They really do grow up so fast and before you know it they are their own little people, with their own likes and dislikes and they stop needing you quiet as much. When you spend so long being a mum, at home with these babies, jumping to their ever need it becomes a bit odd when you’re not needed in the same way.

So will baby number three ever be on the cards? Maybe, hopefully, I’m not certain, but I love the idea of having one more baby. I don’t feel done and have always imagined my life with three children. Right now though it’s a big no, I might be broody and long for baby cuddle’s, but I have some beautiful friends babies to cuddle to fill in for now. When both the children are in school and we feel maybe our family needs one more little person then I hope it will be an option. We may get to this point and decide we are happy, content and not want to go back to all that a new baby entails. Who knows what the future will hold for us as a family, but right now we are a family of four and are the perfect balance.

Something that does worry me about the thought of a third child is having to deal with postnatal depression, I’m very much aware that it is possible I could get PND again and the thought of that terrifies me. I would imagine I would notice the signs quicker and seek help, but I worry putting my family in that position again would make me feel selfish. I wonder if I want another child because I feel I missed out on so much with Mr T from suffering with PND for almost two years of his life. It’s not something I would take lightly and having a third child would be a huge decision for us. I am a planner, but this is something I cannot plan right now, I guess we will just have to see what happens in the future.

Does anyone else get the same feelings? I would love to hear your thoughts and feelings on this subject.

The first steps of getting help with postnatal depression and anxiety

 

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17 Top tips for a happier life with a new baby

17 Top tips for a happier life with a new baby

A new baby is something really special, they smell gorgeous, are tiny and cute and they completely over haul your lives for a while. It takes some to time to adjust to a new baby in your home, as you get to know them and they get to know you. It’s hard work, exhausting and emotionally draining. I’ve written some tips I would have given myself as a new baby arrived.

 

  1. Trust your instinct it’s usually right.
  2. If in doubt ask for a second opinion. Always feel strong enough to ask for a second opinion about your baby, see another doctor or see a health visitor and make sure you feel comfortable with the advice you’ve given.
  3. Sleep when the baby sleeps and don’t feel guilty about it. A tired mummy is no good to anyone.
  4. Breastfeed your baby and if that isn’t what you want to do or it doesn’t work out, then bottle feed your baby.
  5. Own your parenting decisions and don’t be made to feel guilty. We all have to make difficult decisions around are parenting choices and we need to be confident in them.
  6. Let the other stuff slide. cooking, cleaning friends can all take a bit of a backseat whilst you adjust to motherhood.
  7. Make sure you still do stuff you enjoy. If that’s getting out with some friends then so be it or if you’re a home bird and not ready to leave the baby then have a nice bath or read a book whilst someone watches the baby.
  8. If you don’t already have them, make mum friends. Join a group on Facebook or go to a local mum’s group, these women need you as much as you need them.
  9. Your baby probably wont sleep for a long time and that’s normal. Try and ignore anyone who says that their 2 week old sleeps through for 12 hours as the chances are when that baby is teething, sleep will once again be a distant memory.
  10. Hold your baby, let time pass by, breath in that smell and remember the perfect moments.
  11. Every mum 1st, 2nd, or 6th time will make a mistake so don’t let it upset you. Your baby won’t remember and guilt is every mum’s worst enemy.
  12. Take everyone’s opinions with a pinch of salt. Take your time to make up your own mind.
  13. Don’t compare your baby to another baby.
  14. Sometimes are own mother’s and grandmother’s want to pass on their words of wisdom, but please remember advice has changed hugely over the last 20+ years. I’m sure the advice is meant to be helpful, but please make sure the advice you are given meets current guidelines. No babies sleeping on tummy or thickened formula please.
  15. Muslins clothes are amazing and you can never have enough. Great for all sorts of spit up and mess and also double as handy breastfeeding cover tucked into your bra strap.
  16. Ask for help. You don’t need to be a hero and you won’t get an award. If you need help, please ask for it.
  17. Always have baby wipes around. I honestly don’t know how mum’s managed before baby wipes, as they really are amazing for cleaning anything! If you don’t fancy shop bought ones you can always make your own.

Little babies don’t stay little for long so try to remember those special moments as when you look back this is what matters. The night-time feeds, screaming, baby sick and tears from you and baby will fade much quicker over time, but those little moments of happiness will last a lifetime,

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Why I am rocking motherhood

In this ever stressful world we live in where as mothers we are criticised for how we feed our babies milk, how we wean them, how we let them sleep, how we discipline and even what we let them crap in, I wanted to write an honest post to how I am rocking motherhood.

I am the best mum in the world in my children’s eyes and frankly that’s all that matters. My son is so chuffed he still gets boob before bed every night as mummy can’t be assed with trying to get him to wean off it and he’s also still loving his dummy. I am rocking motherhood as when he’s sleepy he gets cuddles with warm milk every night and then gets to suckle on his beloved “doodoo”. He sleeps through the night, so mummy gets time to herself every evening.

We recently had my daughters parents evening and I got to see some of her school work, she wrote that she loves her mummy as I give her chicken nuggets for dinner. I am rocking motherhood as I let my daughter eat chicken nuggets at least twice a week, she loves it, she eats it and it takes no effort to make. I made them once from scratch and frankly it was too much effort.

Miss J has become quiet the techie recently with the tablet. Every morning when she wakes up at 6am she gets an hour of ‘learning’ on the tablet whilst mummy sleeps next to her. I am rocking motherhood as I get an extra hour in bed (win) and she gets to brush up on her skills of navigating the tablet, I think she might become a computer programmer or something techie when she’s a big girl.

Miss J and Mr T love the TV, well what child doesn’t. They often get put in front of the electrical babysitter with an intellectual program (paw patrol), whilst mummy does some work on her laptop (social media, blogging etc). I am rocking motherhood because my kids get to learn what pup to call in an emergency and I get some peace and feel like I have socialized with the rest of the world.

Like all kids my children love a good play and getting out every toy they own. I often let them get every basket of toys out and even pull off the sofa cushions to jump on, whilst I head upstairs to escape the mayhem. I am rocking motherhood as I am teaching the kids to play independently and I am getting some time away from the carnage to either clean or hide.

My two love our local soft play and I enjoy it too. We go off on a Saturday morning with another mummy friend and the kids go mental for two hours swinging around and loving life. I leave them too it (within reason) and make Miss J keep an eye on her brother. I am rocking motherhood as I am teaching her responsibility and I get to chat with friends and enjoy a hot cup of tea. Mr T is usually knackered and will sleep on the way home too (win).

My children love their daddy so much, as do I. Sometimes when he isn’t working silly shifts he becomes daddy day-care and mummy goes out on a night on the town. I am rocking motherhood as my kids get a chance to be away from me and bond with their daddy and mummy gets a night off to get a little (a lot) tipsy with her other mummy friends so we can spend the whole evening talking about our darlings whilst sharing pictures of them with strangers.

My children are very lucky, they have five grandparents and two great grandparents that love them so much. Whilst the kiddies are still so young we only spend about £50 on each at birthdays and Christmas as we know they will get so many generous gifts. I am rocking motherhood as my children are not being spoiled (well at least not by us), and mummy and daddy have more money to go out for family days out or couples evenings out.

How are you rocking motherhood?

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mothers day

To my wonderful mum on Mothers Day

Mother Goose you have taught me everything about being a mum and I will always be grateful for your love and support you have shown me. I know at times you don’t understand me and my actions confuse you, but I know you are always seeing the best in me, even when I can’t see it in myself.

Since becoming a mother almost five years ago I now know how hard it really is. They say you never truly appreciate your mother until you become one and I believe this is true. Telling me your labours were like being constipated with some period pains and they were over and done with quickly wasn’t helpful and I often doubt if you must have forgotten how bad it really was. You love to tease me about what hard work of it I made it, when you were the natural earth mother who sneezed and popped a baby out. You’ve always had a way of making it all look so much easier than I know it truly is. I will never understand how you kept a big house so tidy with two small children and an even more demanding man-child (don’t tell dad I called him that).

I believe I share your core values and I parent the way I do because of you. You were one of the original ‘attachment parents’ before it even was a thing. You didn’t wean us until we were six months of age which was unheard of in the 80’s, you breastfed on demand without a care in the world about other people’s opinions and I know you spent many an hour rocking me to sleep and never letting me cry it out. I love your beliefs, your passion and values you have as a parent and I love the grandma you have become to my little two. Your ability to never say no to my children is pretty amazing and must be exhausting at times.

Thank you for showing me how to breastfeed, not judging me when I had to use formula and for supporting me through the difficult early days until I had established a routine. Thank you for teaching me to breastfeed in public and not give two hoots what anyone else was thinking. If it wasn’t for you I’m certain I would have given up in those early days. Thank you for listening to me cry over the phone when I tirelessly struggled to get Miss J to sleep in her own bed, night after night. Thank you for looking after my children on Fridays so I can work and thank you even more for the occasional over night stays so I get to still have a life outside my home. Thank you for teaching me how to make an amazing roast dinner, your gravy is still always better than mine.

One of my favourite memories as a child with you was the day that just me and you went to Argos to get my new Barbie and Shelley set with the pushchair and we went down to the river to have lunch and you let me get her out the box to play. I remember so clearly how you would take me to the Library once a week and let me pick a book, how we went in on the bus together on our own little adventures. We had some amazing trips out as kids on the bus to Wickstead and by train to Brighton, me and my sister never missed out on anything and always had the best girls days out. I hope i’m making it up to you by taking you out for our ladies days out with plenty of wine.

Once I reached twelve I had not only over taken you in shoe size, but also height and I became protective of you. You were my little mummy and I always had your back. We had our fights and arguments, especially through the teenage years and I know you were confused with what to do with me at times, but I hope you can now look back and see you did a good job as I am just doing fine.

You have been the best mother I could have asked for and an equally fantastic nanny. You have supported me through so much and even as I approach 30 I know you still we always be by my side and hold my hand when I need you most. I respect your work ethic, your patience and your confidence that you give to life every day. You really are an inspiring lady and if everyone was like you as a mother, this world would be a much better place.

I will always be your baby daughter, your little girl and your friend. I will be with you, by your side until the end and I hope to make you prouder everyday we have together. I love you mum and I am eternally grateful that I have been lucky enough to have you as my mum. Your soul is beautiful and your love is kind and thank you for helping me become the amazing mother I am today to my children.

I love you Mother Goose xoxox

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Sorry children mummy is leaving

Sorry children mummy is leaving

Sorry children mummy is leaving, not forever,

but I am leaving for a few days.

You will be with your daddy and we can skype,

but unfortunately I will not be there to tuck you in at night.

Mummy is a little bit exhausted and needs a break from parenting for just a few days.

I won’t be doing anything you enjoy whilst away, actually everything I am doing you really despise.

I will be sleeping lots, reading long books with no pictures,

laying in the sun with a cool pina colada and not moving a muscle as I let my skin bake,

I plan to eat lots of food you definitely will not like and I will be drinking lots of fizz and wine.

There will be no building sandcastles, no inflatable balls, no early mornings and no chicken nuggets, not at all.

I’m sorry children, but mummy just needs some time to herself,

to talk about something besides elf on the shelf.

Mummy doesn’t want to argue with a 4 year old diva or a tantruming terrible twos,

she just wants to get shit faced and placed by the pool.

I love you both dearly and will miss you so much,

but mummy is hoping to find who she once used to be

before all the breastfeeding and pooey nappies.

Before the stretch marks, the bags under the eyes,

mummy once had a twinkle in her eye.

She wore high heels, make up and even a push up bra,

but then she became a bit ga ga.

I hope you behave for your dad and remember he is just as good as me,

he might not make the barbie voices the same,

but you know he’s the best for rough and tumble and games on the wii.

But please children don’t forget about me,

as mummy will be thinking about her little family tree.

Mummy will come back all refreshed and say lot less f’s

and daddy will sure appreciate how much work it can be to run a family.

So here you go daddy,

you now have a story to read the children before bed about

the mummy who ran away to escape to the magical island and dared to bare her tummy.

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Parenting a strong willed boy

Parenting a strong willed boy

It was quite apparent from an early age that Mr T has been strong willed and a bit of a handful. Miss J has her moments and is pretty stubborn at times, but from an early age distraction or even reasoning with her has always worked. I’ve found parenting Miss J easy to some extent and never doubted my abilities as a parent until Mr T started to show us his personality. Often since his arrival in May 2015 I have refered to him as difficult baby and toddler, but this is not true, he is not difficult or naughty he’s just strong willed and that’s what makes him, him.

Mr T is now 21 months and is pretty much mute with words besides mummy, juice, milk and please. He does seem to have a good understanding of what we are saying to him, but he as far as he’s concerned he has no one to please and will listen if he fancies it. I do wonder at times if I gave him the wrong name as he rarely responds to it.

Mr T started to crawl at 10 months and as soon as he was able to pull himself up and climb he’s been a force to reckon with. He’s strong willed, determined and so stubborn and I often wonder how I manage to get through the day. He will climb anything and often fall off things, if he decides he wants to climb something he will not give up until he’s succeeded and most probably got a bump to the head. I’ve learnt to stay close and guide him so he can explore the world in his own way.

For the last year I’ve lived in a constant state of anxiety trying to parent such a strong willed boy, I’ve often asked myself is it just me who can’t handle a boy, is he particularly difficult or is it just the postnatal depression that has stopped me from parenting how I used to with just one child. Having time to reflect and see his personality grow I am gradually learning to just enjoy him for who he is and that this age is just a phase and it should (I hope) get easier.

Mr T is not just strong willed, he has many other amazing personality traits like his gentleness, affection and his sheer determination is amazing. I look forward to seeing how his personality grows with him and I hope to help direct his strong willed personality into the right areas of his life. I’m sure like his dad he will be a fantastic sportsman and have his competitiveness that I wish I had.

Mr T has taught me so much since he was born, he’s taught me how to catch a falling child without flinching, how to stop a bump swelling so quickly, how to always expect a poo directly after a bath and to love two children equally, but differently. Mr T has shown me that children aren’t just naughty, they are just learning in a way that fits their personality and that no way is wrong. Mr T is making me a better parent every single day and has found his way to fit into our little family perfectly.

 

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Please stop following me

Please stop following me darling

I am sure many of us mums can relate to have a mini person following them where ever they go, as soon as I move from one room I hear the scurry of little feet behind, following me. I expected it as a parent to not get a minuets peace, but sometimes i’m thinking please just sit down and please play with your a million toys and leave me the (insert choice word) alone.

Miss J is four and half years old and has been at school now since September. I drop off in the morning with no tears and a quick cuddled and kiss with no worries of how she will be. The problem is when Miss J is home, she is incredibly clingy to me and cannot spend a single second in her own company. I thought having a brother might help at least entertain her whilst I went for a poo, but no chance just yet. Mr T at 20 months is quiet happy sitting watching the minions whilst I get on with my jobs that I need to complete.

Miss J is a sensitive little girl which I adore about her and she is still a very cuddly little thing. I know I shouldn’t complain, but I am unable to get a seconds peace whilst trying to fulfil one of my many lovely mum duties I have. If I’m making the bed she is rolling around on it, if I am having a shower she is sitting on the toilet seat telling me she loves my wobbly tummy and if I do need to use the toilet she will be handing me a tampon (she thinks they are toilet fresheners).

From the moment Miss J was born she has been a velcro baby and we only managed to get her out of our bed just before her little brother arrived. Me and Miss J were so lucky for it to just be us two for three years, where we spent many a day out together, making wonderful memories and cementing an everlasting bond. Little Miss J has become my best little friend and someone I love to spend time with, especially as her daddy has to work long hours and shift work. When Mr T came into this world Miss J wasn’t so keen and wasn’t overly impressed with having to share her time with me. Mr T as he gets older has started to get his independence, partly because his sister has left him no choice.

Even when Miss J’s dad is around she is still wanting to know where I am and if I do leave the house there will be tears from her. As soon as I go upstairs to attempt to hoover I hear her screaming ‘mummy’ and following after me. I love her dearly, but I wish she would learn to be on her own for just a while.

I will try to remind myself everyday when she is asking me to pick her up, sit with her to play barbies or cuddle her through a scary bit in a film, that one day she will stop asking for me. One day she’ll be rushing out the door to go shopping with her friends or to meet with her boyfriend and I’ll hardly get a goodbye.

 

 

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