Miss J you are now 4 years old and have started school. You have grown up so much this past year and have made me so proud. You don’t want to hold my hand as much as you did and you are now eager to run off to be with your friends, but you are still my darling baby girl. You still get in my bed in the night when your daddy is on nights and in the dark when you’re cuddled close to me, I stroke your soft cheeks and you still feel like my sweet baby girl.
You taught me so many lessons and made me become selfless. You always see the good in everything and teach me everyday to be a better person. To see the world through your eyes is something beautiful and magical. Without you I wouldn’t have had the strength to get through things and when my anxiety was bad and making me want to stay at home it was your voice and your hand that gave me the courage I needed. I have given you everything I have but you have given me so much more in return.
I am sorry you had to grow up so quick this last year whilst mummy wasn’t well and you have seen me at my worse, but please remember your words of encouragement and telling me you loved me meant more than anything anyone else could have told me right at that time. Without you my darling I’m not sure how I would have got through and you were the one that made me admit defeat and get help. I am eternally grateful for what you unknowingly did for me.
Now you have left for school my heart aches for you as I wasn’t ready to let you go just yet, but I know you are ready to be independent away from me and that I need to be strong on my own. Me and your baby brother are doing ok but we miss you terribly when you are not with us everyday. I took it for granted how much I needed my little helper with me when your brother is having a grumpy day. The way you care for baby Goo Goos is way beyond your years, but I know that isn’t your job it’s just the caring girl you are.
When I pick you up from school later I hope you have had a fun, exciting day, but I also hope you are a little tired so I can steal a nice cuddle on the sofa with you. As always my darling girl I shall tuck you into bed, read you a story, kiss your forehead and tell you I love you and I shall do this as long as you want and need me to. I love you Miss J.