Supporting mothers from mothers 

Why do strangers seem to want to give me their opinion on parenting when you never asked. Today whilst shopping in Boots and picking up some dummy clips to stop Tristan from launching them out his pushchair the lady serving told me I needed to break thay habbit soon as he’s too big for a dummy. Mr T is 17 months old and when hes tired or teething i am more than happy to let him have a dummy and until he stops napping in the day i will make no plans to take it away just like i did with my daughter. I’m sure the comment didnt come from a nasty place, but I get so fed up of always feeling judged and being made to feel I need to justify my parenting choices when my children are happy and healthy. Miss J happily had her dummy until she was three years old until she stopped napping in the day. I didnt want to risk her dropping her nap in the day for my own selfish needs because I was heavily pregnant with SPD and that hour rest is what kept me going through the day.

Mr T is STILL breastfeeding at 17 months old, whilst showing no signs of stopping and i have felt I’ve had to justify this for many reasons as surely as ive gone this far I will probably have to move into his halls at university so he can have his ‘bitty’. It was my intention to feed until 12 months, but when I went back to work he adjusted so well to just feeding morning and night I’ve carried on. The world health organisations recommends breastfeeding until 2 years and if Mr T wants to then I’m fine with that. Am I selfish for wanting to go this far? Possibly i am, as when my baby wakes first thing in the morning I get an extra ten minutes cuddle time and at night or when he’s teething I can comfort him in a minute. It works for us and thats all I care about.

Parenting choices are personal and have reason. Whether you co-sleep, formula feed, or cry it out, who has the right to tell you that it’s wrong? No one should feel that they have the right to undermine a mothers role with critical opinions. We all need to support each other and respect other peoples choices. Parenting is hard so let’s try and do what we can to make it easier for everyone.

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15 thoughts on “Supporting mothers from mothers 

  1. I have had so many inappropriate comments that I have to do a double take. Did they actually say that! Deep breath and walk away. I mean I have struggled to get Martha to take a dummy because I want her to have one. She needs some sort of comfort from something and it is taking a little while, but slowly she is getting use to one and it has really helped. When she is a little older we will go through that process of taking her off it but it will be when she is ready. At the end of that day, you know best for your child and you are doing a fab job. xxx

  2. I can’t understand why people are so worried about babies/toddlers drawing comfort from boobs or dummies. We’re breastfeeding at 18 months old and although lots of people (including health visitors) are happy to tell me he doesn’t ‘need’ it anymore, no one else apart from me gets to see the look of desperation when he’s searching for the only thing that truly calms him down and the look of utter gratitude when he receives it. I bet that same woman tuts away at loud toddlers, judging mums for not ‘controlling’ their children. Oooh it makes me so mad!

  3. This is so true… I do often feel guilty when I am out if a flash of ‘parenting advice’ flitters briefly across my mind when seeing things I may not agree with in terms of parents/children HOWEVER I would never ever go up to a random stranger and advise them as you do never know what they are going through! Every child is different and every parent is different. <3

  4. Great post and I really wish people would keep their opinions to themselves go with your instincts Thanks for linking to the #THAT FRIDAY LINKY come back next week please

  5. I couldn’t agree more with this, I think as parents we just need to do what works best for us. I have two daughters who slept incredibly well and my baby boy doesn’t sleep at all. I’ve been so hung up on what other people are doing, how other babies are sleeping, when in actual fact it makes no difference. Since stopping caring I have felt so much better about it all.

  6. Totally agree. I don’t think you should feel selfish at all, some of my friends are waiting until the child is ready to stop which actually sounds very un-selfish. I felt selfish for stopping at 7 months! Haha I think with any decision you make as a parent there’s always a “what if” in the back of your head, at least for me there is, and it would be amazing if we could all stop this feeling from happening. It probably starts with people not judging us for our choices with our child. It’s crazy that all of a sudden all of these people think they know what’s best for YOUR child. Not sure why this happens! Lovely post, thanks for sharing with #StayClassyMama!

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