Loving myself and happiness that I deserve

Something that I’ve really struggled with all my teenage and adult life is loving myself. I have always had a low opinion of my self and lacked confidence, but with postnatal-depression my self-esteem really took a bash. Not only did I not like the person I was, I was also doubting myself as a mother and how good of a parent I actually was. I am currently trying to build my self-esteem and confidence to become the person I want to be. It’s all about believing and knowing what you deserve and I know I deserve happiness. I know some days will be hard and some days I will struggle to believe in myself, but it’s all about picking yourself back up and not letting those feelings linger and not letting them work their way in so you believe them.

I’m finally feeling well enough to enjoy parenting again and am able to appreciate my children. I can now feel emotions of love and happiness and not just pain and sadness. My children are my main focus through this and I need to get better for them not just myself. I need to love myself so they can grow up knowing how to love themselves. I need to be the role model my children deserve and the support for them when they need encouragement.

I am taking this time to focus on myself and putting my needs first. I am no longer doing things just to make others happy. I am looking after myself, I am taking the time for long baths in peace so I can unwind and relax after a day, going to the gym so I can feel healthier and doing something for myself, writing my blog as its therapeutic and puts things in perspective, taking time to do my make up and hair so I can feel more like me and occasionally treating myself to something I want and not just need. I have dedicated 18 months of the last five years growing humans and 2 1/2 years breastfeeding them and it’s my turn to be a little selfish and start focusing on myself. I have given everything I have to my children and can no longer give as much, unless I start looking after myself. I am Michelle and not just mum and need to focus on what makes me happy from time to time.

These last 18 months have been extremely hard on myself, but they have also been enlightening. I have learnt so much about myself and why I am, the way I am and what makes me act in certain ways. I know I will never been perfect and I am letting go unrealistic expectations and starting my life as a new blank page. I am fortunate that I feel love everyday from the family that I have helped create and I am rich in so many ways besides wealth. Life is good and my happiness is reachable.

 

 

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8 thoughts on “Loving myself and happiness that I deserve

  1. Oh absolutely this is so well said. Being a mum from pregnancy to birth to newborns toddler children – it is all consuming and it is easy to get lost and forget yourself. After all you devote everything to these little people we bring into the world. But you are right we absolutely need to make time for ourselves. I took have recently go to to the same place. My youngest has just turned 17 months and the last 3 years if you include pregnancy has been all.about.the.children. I am happy with that but now it needs to be a little about me too. Have a wonderful Christmas lovey and thanks for joining us at #familyfun
    Tammymum recently posted…#FamilyFun…Week 15My Profile

  2. Good on you! It’s so easy for parents, especially mums, to put their needs after everyone else’s. But you end up burnt out and resentful which is good for nobody. I’m glad you are taking the time to do some of the things that matter to you personally. I hope you are getting plenty of support at home too! Have a wonderful Christmas and New Year. Hope you get some hot baths, relaxed film sessions and writing time to yourself! #FamilyFun
    Angela Watling recently posted…My Top 10 Online Reads – November 2016My Profile

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