Month: October 2016

dementor

My dementors back and he’s an a**hole.

Michelle 26 Comments

My dementors back and he’s an a**hole, his ugly, negative presence has done everything he can to suck any life which I have inside me and to leave me in fear as a shell of myself. This blog post is difficult to write, I am not writing this for pity or attention, I am writing this to be honest, stop stigma and raise awareness. This is me in my most vulnerable state and if you don’t want to read it, then don’t as your negative opinions mean nothing to me and will never be as strong as the negative opinions I’ve had of myself.

I’m usually pretty organised with my prescriptions, but on the Friday I had realised I didn’t have any box’s left of my antidepressants and I was completely out. I always take them in the evenings so I was unable to call the Dr’s by the time I  realised. I went online and went to order a repeat prescription, but was unable to as I was due a prescription review. I waited until Monday when the Dr’s reopened and called as early as I could and after a long time on hold I booked a call back from the Dr. I didn’t get a call so phoned again Tuesday morning and got a call back a couple of hours, but didn’t get to my phone in time. I phoned straight back, but again didn’t get a call until Wednesday after spending an hour on hold. this had meant that I had gone over five days without a prescription and was feeling completely on edge. I had, had an awful cold and cough for over a week and hadn’t slept for a week by this point. I was going through withdrawal from a high dose of antidepressants and was ignored when I begged for help. I have since found out I could have gone to a pharmacy with my box and got a five-day emergency prescription (if only I had known).

I had already been struggling a fair bit over the last few weeks as the counselling I had been having had bought up some stuff I had suppressed a few years previous and not dealt with at the time. I should have worked through these feelings, but I felt too scared to carry on and stopped my counselling straight away. This has then lead to major anxiety and night terrors, so any quality of sleep I was getting was poor.

Four weeks ago I went back to the IAPT service and referred myself back to counselling so I could start to work through these problems, as I had realised I had to face them head on otherwise my sleep and wellbeing would continue to suffer and these feelings of anxiety and depression would just keep manifesting in every aspect of my life. what I though would happen, happen and I  am unfortunately still waiting for my phone call for my initial appointment.

Between me going through withdraw and unable to get my medication and the long wait with no mental support, I had hit a crisis. I went back to my Dr’s and was referred to the CRISIS team at hospital and have been having daily visits from a dr. my first visit where I was an emotional and exhausted wreck was within 3 hours of that call. I’m not sure how I would have survived without there support.

I won’t go into details as I’m still very much in the middle of it all but I am now back on my medication, plus three others to keep me calm and to help me sleep, but I am getting the support I need and these Dr’s have done everything to keep me at home with my family, whilst I keep battling.

This honestly has been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to live through and even writing, which has been my main salvation has not helped. I’ve had countless offers of  support and kindness of which I am grateful for, but unless I find the strength in myself I am not going to get better. I’m hoping that after a good few nights sleep, without terrible nightmares, I will be back with some energy behind me to fight through this again.

This will not beat me permanently, it will not take away my family, my job, my friends. I know I am stronger than that I’m just too tired to fight it just yet. until that time comes I will rest, take care of myself, my wellbeing and mend my broken wings ready for the fight.

“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”

-Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

I have postnatal depression and I’m not ashamed

Facebooktwitterpinterestlinkedinrssinstagram
What Motherhood Means to Me

What motherhood means to me

Michelle 29 Comments

What Motherhood Means To Me.

Motherhood is my greatest achievement and also my greatest challenge. The hours are long, stressful and the money is poor, but the benefits far out weigh anything else and my colleagues (mummy friends) are bloody amazing. I have sacrificed my body, nights out, free time, money, sleep and mental health, but what I have got back in return is worth so much more. See my blog about support http://themuddledmother.co.uk/breastfeeding/supporting-mothers/

I was 23 years old when I found out I was pregnant with Miss J and had been married a month. I went into it a little blind and just assumed it would all fall into place and come natural to me. The whole falling into place wasn’t as easy as I had seen it and going from a full-time wage and being independent to relying on someone elses wage was a shock. I was happy to be back at work after my maternity finished, but with a part-time wage and childcare to pay for it hardly seemed worth it at times. We’ve made it work though and we are now a family unit with a routine.

Motherhood has made me shed many a tear, made me doubt everything I knew, has made my heart hurt so much it could break and fill with love that it could burst. Until you have become a mother I don’t believe you can feel true unconditional love. I have cried myself to sleep at night thinking I am doing it all wrong and that I am mentally scaring them for the rest of their lives because I shouted at them and they’ve cried. As a mother I have a special chance to be someones role model, to teach them, guide them and love them so they become mentally balanced and happy grown ups. My job won’t finish when they finally say goodbye and leave our home, my job will carry on until I die. Being a parent is a lifelong commitment I have taken on and something that I am happy to always be to them.

I have cupped my hands and let my child vomit into them, I’ve been pooed on, peed on and sucked snot out of their noises so they can sleep. I have spent many a sleepless night holding them perfectly in my arms unable to move over fear of waking them. I have learned to be selfless and put two little people’s needs always in front of my own, I’ve also learned that to be the best I can I sometimes need to take a break out for myself.

I love that I can wake up in the morning and have two little people climb into my bed for cuddles who love my wobbly tummy, they don’t care that I have no make on, that my hair is a mess, all they care about is that I’m their mummy. I may doubt myself as a parent constantly and worry if I am really giving them the best, but these two amazing cheerleaders love me and think I am the best thing in the world.

http://themuddledmother.co.uk/mental-illness/embracing-rubbish-parent-inside/

Facebooktwitterpinterestlinkedinrssinstagram
Why it sucks to be a poorly mother

Why it really sucks to be a poorly mother

Michelle 14 Comments

Being poorly is always rubbish and is always an inconvenience, but when you’re a parent it’s so much worse. unfortunately when you are a mother and poorly you can’t just call in sick and you just have to suck it up and get on with it.  I’ve compiled a list of why being a sick mother is really rubbish.

  • You can’t just sleep it off and rest. You still have to get when the dictating sleep thief decides to wake. You still have to make the breakfast, still do the school run, still have to wash up and still have to do the bedtime bath routine.
  • If you can’t take any good drugs when breastfeeding. Which is the one thing I hate about breastfeeding is that when I’m full of snot and cold I can’t take any decongestants and I have to soldier on through with paracetamol and Vicks. Also you can’t take any thing that would make you more drowsy as you need all the strength you can get to ‘parent’.
  • You can’t just cough your guts up in the middle of the night and have to muffle the sound with your pillow for fear of waking the children. Thais just one less hassle you could do without right now.
  • You know that this nasty illness you have will be spread to your child if they didn’t give it to you or you got poorly whilst your little one is poorly, you’ve then got to deal with a very dramatic and upset child whilst poorly yourself.
  • Leading on from the last one, you have the fear that your poor darling husband could also get poorly and you’ll then have to look after a giant man-child too. Nothing is worse than a poorly child than a poorly husband desperate for sympathy.
  • You are reminded that you aren’t a superhero and sometimes you do just need to sit on your bum and watch films back to back whilst giving the kids whatever they want for some peace.

One good thing about being a poorly mummy is that your child will not care how rough you look and still want cuddles and snuggles from you.

Facebooktwitterpinterestlinkedinrssinstagram

The shock of a baby boy after a girl

Michelle 13 Comments

The shock of a boy baby after a girl

I was blessed with the most beautiful, content and well and truly cooked 41 week baby in 2012. After a tough and long labour (3 days), pethidine twice and an epidural Miss J was welcomed into this world and placed into my arms. She honestly looked like one of the 8 week old babies born in EastEnders, she was pink, plump, awake and stunning. She latched immediately after birth and just seemed to know exactly what she was doing.

Miss J was the perfect first baby and did everything by the book. She breastfed well and was happily sleeping through the night by five weeks. When other mums were talking about how exhausted they were I felt a little smug that I must have been doing something right with this perfect bundle of joy I had.

Miss J was a well behaved toddler and if I said no she would listen. She took her first steps on her 1st birthday and within a couple of months was more than happy to go on outside walks with me whilst holding onto my hand.  She always seemed older than she was with her long hair in bunches and sitting playing with her dolls so gently. The only trouble I had with Miss J was her eating. After getting the rotavirus at 9 months and having a hospital stay for three days as a baby she has always been funny with her food and still has trouble with trying much stuff.

I’ve always winced a little at the sight of a child with a snotty nose and dirty hands, so Miss J was taught at a young age to stay clean which she seemed quiet happy to do. She was never interested in messy play and would come to me immediately if she had the smallest bit of dirt on her hands to have them cleaned. Miss J has never been one to put small stuff in her mouth even as a baby, so I never had to be careful about small toys or parts as I knew she would behave.

Mr T was welcomed into this world in 2015, after a difficult pregnancy. Mr T decided he wanted to be a little impatient and my waters broke at 37 weeks without going into labour. I was induced the following day and five hours later he was welcomed into this world, pain relief free (only because the stupid epidural didn’t work). In contrast to Miss J he was blue, waxy and the ugliest baby I have ever seen. I know every mother is supposed to think their newborn baby is beautiful, but unfortunately Mr T really was a funny looking squished thing for the first day of life.  Me and my husband tried desperately to get a picture to share with the world, but he just looked a little funny.

Getting Mr T to latch was a lot harder and as the days went by and my milk came in he had a real struggle with how fast the milk came out and was constantly chocking and unlatching. I soon learnt that I had to pump some milk off at first and lay on my side to feed him. Mr T’s reflux started about a week after he was born, but he wasn’t just sick a little, he was sick constantly and was having his baby grow changed up to five times in a night. With the reflux came the pain and many a sleepless night, he finally started to sleep through at about 9 months of age and touch wood that seems to be continuing.

Mr T has been slow compared to Miss J with his milestones and only started to sit at nine months and started walking at 17 months. Mr T made up with climbing though and will climb anything that is possible to climb. I even caught him using a collapsed clothes dryer as a ladder the other day to play with a light switch.

Mr T finally seems to have embraced turning into a toddler the last couple of weeks and is walking confidently and isn’t as clingy. He will shovel any food possible into his mouth, even if its not his and will quite happily swipe a piece of bacon of your plate if you sit too close. The only way I can describe him is like a whirlwind.

I am forever fishing out various objects from his mouth, I catch him eating food I hadn’t seen to clear up from yesterday, after he had launched it across the room. I’ve caught him playing in the litter tray, he’s drank perfume and had to go to A&E and if I say no to him, he laughs and will continue with what he’s doing. He has broken countless toys of Miss J’s and broken candles, and picture frames and I’m certain his path of destruction will continue for many more years.

My son is covered in snot and dirt and is forever sticky, my daughter is actually disgusted in him at times, but he is our little trouble maker. Mr T has changed the dynamics of out house and we are eternally grateful that he is here. He may turn me grey and make me mutter the odd swear word under my breath, but he is the funniest, cheekiest and squishiest little boy you could meet. He is full of love and kisses and we couldn’t be without him.

 

 

 

Facebooktwitterpinterestlinkedinrssinstagram

Blogging – my therapy

Michelle 5 Comments

I feel like in these short 8 weeks I have achieved more than I have since leaving school. Not only has this blog been my therapy it has been my salvation. I started this blog to purely write down how I felt about things and after some encouragement from friends I decided to make it public. Just two months ago my self-esteem was at its lowest it had ever been. I was still battling PND, anxiety and my confidence was rock bottom. I’ve not been magically cured over night, but I feel so much better in myself and can now see light at the end of the tunnel.

Since I can remember I’ve always had a habit of starting something, but when things get too hard I throw it all in, but for the first time in my adult life I have done something that I have loved and carried on past the first hurdle. I believe I still have so much more I can do with this blog and plan to keep going as long as I have an audience.

Two weeks ago I faced my biggest challenge and decided to go from my wordpress.com blogging platform and become self-hosted, I used https://www.tsohost.com/ who have been amazingly supportive and helpful. I was out of my depth completely and spent many an hour googling and reading eBooks on how to achieve what I had in mind. I have had to learn about widgets, plugins and SEO’s and if I’m honest I’m still not sure, but I am enjoying learning.

I have made something that is my own, my own little space in cyber space where I can write about anything I like. I love that I can do something for just me and have time out from just being mum, even if my biggest inspiration and topic is about being mum. When my head is filled with ideas on what to write and I am desperate to get them typed out, I feel like a child again writing a story where I am excited to find out how it will end. Having a creative outlet is so fulfilling and rewarding and something I recommend.  I don’t know what’s next for me, but in this moment in time I’m enjoying the ride and plan to carry on. I want to thank my friends for their words of encouragement, new blogger friends for their advice, followers for comments and re-shares. I appreciate you all and giving me a massive confidence boost when I’ve needed it most. Thank you.

 

Facebooktwitterpinterestlinkedinrssinstagram

A letter to myself in the depths of depression

Michelle 12 Comments

I know You really didn’t expect to feel like this and it’s caught you off guard, but please don’t be scared as I know how confusing this can be. Depression is hard, consuming, isolating, scary and painful, but you will get through it. I know you are struggling and you can’t see the light, but it is there. You will feel joy and happiness again and will be in charge of your mind once again.

You are blinded and consumed with fear and anxiety, but please listen to me when I say you are not alone. Please don’t hide, please don’t isolate yourself as there are people who want to help you. You might not see it yet but you do have a purpose and you’re loved so don’t think you are not. Don’t feel like your crazy and you’re losing your mind and that you’re slowly falling apart piece by piece as these horrible thoughts and feelings can only manifest if you give them power, which you no longer have to do.

You are stronger than you know, because to go through this battle you have to be. Sure, I know there is stigma and judgement around mental illness, but us survivors are doing all we can to get rid of it and we would love for you to come join us. Battling this disease is not something you need to do alone and I can assure you, that you’ll never be alone. We are here beside you, you can call us, visit us or find us online. We are here to help you and remind you that you have people around you who care and people who have beaten this. Let go of the worry about other people’s opinions as the only opinions that matter are your friends and you know that they care for you.

Please don’t be scared of the doctor or health visitor, they see this everyday and they know you’re not a rubbish mum, your mind is just a bit broken and needs help to heal. Don’t feel guilty for feeling exhausted as there is nothing harder than battling with your own mind on a day-to-day basis. I know you are struggling to bond with your baby and feel like you’ve let Miss J down, but you haven’t and they will never remember this, so please don’t beat yourself up. Please don’t let the guilt consume you any longer and learn to let go. It is doing you no favours and that guilt and self-doubt is keeping you prisoner and stopping you from getting better.

Tell your partner, friends and family so they can support you and if they don’t understand please turn to someone else for support. You’ll find the more you talk about it the more people you will find who have been through something similar. 1 in 4 people in the UK will experience some kind of mental health problem in their lives so please don’t feel like the odd one out. Things are going to get tough with prescription changes, doses increased and councillors, but you have got the power to conquer this. Some days you’ll feel like you’re back on track and then it will come out of nowhere again like a black cloud, but these days will get fewer and you will have more good days than bad and you’ll know that you have the ability to feel happiness again.

You’ve done nothing wrong and you didn’t deserve this. You will get better and you can battle this and in this progress you’ll see how strong you really are.

http://www.mind.org.uk

Facebooktwitterpinterestlinkedinrssinstagram
Pigeon Pair & Wanting a Third Baby

Pigeon pair & wanting a third baby

Michelle 33 Comments

I have been very fortunate enough to have two children and I can tell you now that I didn’t care what gender I had, I was just grateful that I could have children and that they are healthy.  People especially the older generation don’t seem to understand why when I have a perfect pigeon pair I would want to add to my family, but I do. I am certain that our family will not be complete until we have a third child. I have no preference on what gender we have and I’m pretty sure we won’t even find out, but I feel our family is still missing one tiny person.

Why do I feel the need to add to our brood? To be honest I am not sure and practically it probably isn’t the best decision, but then I see that it’s more important to have a big enough family to fill our hearts than money. I feel my decision has been slightly influenced by missing out on the first five months of Mr T’s life as I was crippled by depression and I had blocked out so much of it. I wish I could have appreciated the baby stage more with him, but now things are better I feel like I get so much from him.

I was one of two children and have grown up incredibly close with my older sister that I class her as one of my best friends. We share friends with each other and have even shared a couple of the same bridesmaids, but we couldn’t be more opposite if we tried. Not only do we look nothing alike are personalities are different, but one thing we do have in common is that we both have the most silly laugh and we can have each other in fits of laughter in seconds.  I hope my children can be as close
what we have become.

As a very small child I had dreamed about having children of my own and was always playing and caring for my dolls. I actually looked forward to turning 30 as that was the age my mum had had children and that’s all I wanted. I didn’t manage to wait as long as my mum and got pregnant at 23 with Miss J. It really was the most amazing moment in my life knowing that I would be starting a family of my own.

One thing I will not be looking forward to is pregnancy, I don’t do pregnancy easily and can say besides loving having a rounded tummy and feeling the kicks I find pregnancy a massive pain in the back, hips, legs etc. The 9 months of pain are all worth it though and something I would be willing to go through again. I think I still need a couple of years to block out the pain of pregnancy and labour before I’m mentally prepared to put myself through it again.

I do have a real fear of getting PND again and how I would cope with three children and this is why I want to wait a few years first to make sure I’m mentally prepared for it. I do hope that as I have been through this, that I will recognise it earlier and be able to get the help I need before things get too much. I can’t let it be a deciding factor in my future as that would mean I have let it win and take something else from me.

I’ve found parenting difficult and I’m certainly not the earth mother I had imagined myself to be. I’ve had PND, had a breakdown and have come out the other side, but I can confidently say I’ve been a good mum, caring mum, loving mum and my children are flourishing. I want another baby, not yet, but in a few years’ time and this baby will complete our family as five.

Facebooktwitterpinterestlinkedinrssinstagram

First pregnancy compared to second

Michelle 2 Comments

Being pregnant is such a magical wonderful time for some, but for me I just found it exhausting and quiet dull. I can’t say I didn’t enjoy it at all as there were some lovely bits to it so I thought I would share my comparisons of my First pregnancy compared to my second.

1st pregnancy: being able to have a nap as soon as you got in from work and laying in till 11am at the weekend after multiple trips to pee through the night.

2nd pregnancy: exhausted beyond belief and if you’re lucky getting half an hour nap with the toddler in bed with you. Finding yourself nodding off when watching Frozen for the 20th time.

1st pregnancy: writing a detailed account of how your pregnancy is going week to week in your journal whilst reading the updates on www.babycentre.co.uk to see what size fruit your baby is this week.

2nd pregnancy: not even being able to remember how many weeks pregnant you are as they now merge into one. Pregnancy journal has a few short scribbles of details in, but mostly forgotten about.

1st pregnancy: everyone sympathising with you with your morning sickness whilst passing you ginger biscuits and telling you to take it easy.

2nd pregnancy: you should have known what you were getting yourself into so no sympathy this time, and you better just suck it up when having to sort the toddlers breakfast out whilst being sick in the bin.

1st pregnancy: counting down to each scan and midwife appointment wishing the time would hurry up.

2nd pregnancy: completely forgetting you have a midwife appointment and hoping it’s as quick as possible as you have your toddler in toe and you’re unable to hear anything your midwife has to say.

1st pregnancy: watching your tummy jump as the baby is kicking with your partner lovingly holding your stomach. Enjoying the special times in bed holding your stomach whilst baby kicks around.

2nd pregnancy: telling your partner the baby is kicking whilst he shrugs and puts his hand on your tummy for a moment. Gently asking your baby to stop kicking you, as you really need some sleep before the toddler wakes you up again.

1st pregnancy: carefully planning and browsing all the different bits of baby equipment in John Lewis whilst hardly batting an eyelid to the price as you have two full time wages coming in.

2nd pregnancy: begrudgingly buying anything that didn’t last the 1st child and making sure it’s on sale. Besides the changing bag, you definitely deserve a brand new one of them.

1st pregnancy: spending hours in Next buying so many newborn baby clothes and lovely outfits.

2nd pregnancy: buying a big pack of newborn baby grows and accepting that those really cute baby outfits are just not pratical and won’t actually be worn.

1st pregnancy: having that beautiful glow about you and wearing pretty maternity dresses.

2nd pregnancy: looking exhausted and not having a glow. If you’re out you wear leggings and if you’re at home pj’s.

1st pregnancy: eating everything and anything in sight without feeling guilty.

2nd pregnancy: remembering how hard it was the 1st time to lose and being a bit more careful.

1st pregnancy: going on maternity leave at 35 weeks and spending the time sleeping or going for lunches. You then go 8 days overdue so your are bored out your mind resorting the hospital bag for the 6th time.

2nd pregnancy: working until your 37 weeks and then waters breaking at 37 weeks so you have to pack your hospital bag there and then.

1st pregnancy: begging for pain relief or to be listened to whilst being ignored and told you have hours to go still.

2nd pregnany: everyone listens to you, but no chance for pain relief as the baby shoots out.

1st birth: holding this beautiful tiny newborn baby whilst your heart fills with love and knowing life will never be the same.

2nd birth: holding this beautiful tiny newborn baby whilst your heart fills with love and knowing life will never be the same.

Facebooktwitterpinterestlinkedinrssinstagram

Wave of light – Miscarriage awareness week

Michelle Leave a comment

As it’s baby loss awareness week I thought I would share my experience of miscarriage with you. I’ve not had a very good track record with straight forward pregnancies but I have been lucky enough to get pregnant easily. I had bleeding from the start with Miss J and had a total of 7 scans in the pregnancy, but by 20 weeks the bleeding had stopped. At our first scan at 6 weeks we were told they couldn’t find a heartbeat but it could be still too early so was advised to wait a week for another scan, this was the hardest week of my life not knowing what our babies fate was. The worry never went away and I didn’t feel I would relax until that baby was placed in my arms.

When Miss J was just over a year old and I had just started back at work we found out I was pregnant again. It was a complete surprise and not the best time to be adding to our family but after a talk and some time it started to sink in. I started browsing through the Mothercare website at cute baby clothes and started to imagine what are life would be like with having two under two.

I started to bleed on the Friday night but I wasn’t too worried at first as it was only light, but by the next morning it was heavy and also painful. I managed to get an appointment with the out of hours Dr, where I was checked over and told to wait until Monday for my scan.

The next two days of waiting were like being in limbo.  I didn’t know how to feel, should I be preparing myself for the worst or should I be hoping for the best. Monday came and I headed off to the scan and waited with all the other mothers to be. Some mums were walking out clutching the scan photo, beaming ear to ear whilst others came out with puffy looking eyes. I waited and waited and finally my name was called. I went in and the sonogramer was ever so chatty and put me at ease. They started with the scan on my tummy which was showing nothing so they decided it was best they did an internal one. It was clear by the way the sonogramer was acting that something wasn’t right. She lifted her head from the screen and said sorry.

Everything after was a blur. I was taken into a side room with a nurse where she gave me advice and a leaflet but I didn’t focus on what she was saying. I walked back out to the car park and just drove home unable to process what had just happened. How could I be so sad over something that I hadn’t even wanted a few weeks earlier. With Miss J being so small and needing me I had no choice but to pick myself up and carry on. I couldn’t bring myself to talk to anyone about it and buried my feelings which made me feel isolated and alone. My body felt empty and I blamed myself for not taking folic acid earlier and for drinking before finding out, when in reality I was just unlucky and it was one of those things.

Just over a year after me and my husband decided it was time to try again and within the month I was pregnant again. I couldn’t believe how quickly it had happened but I felt so scared. I didn’t have any morning sickness and didn’t feel pregnant which was making me worry from the start then at 6 weeks I started bleeding a lot. I broke down in tears in the bathroom convinced that again I was losing this baby and I felt devastated. I called the Dr’s who got me booked in for a scan for the next day. It was horrible walking back into the same room. Luckily a heartbeat was picked up quickly and I could see my little pea bouncing around. I was told I had a collection of blood around the baby and would have to come back for more scans.  That little pea is now 17 months old and I am so thankful for this precious gift.

#WaveOfLight

Home

Facebooktwitterpinterestlinkedinrssinstagram

Supporting mothers from mothers 

Michelle 15 Comments

Why do strangers seem to want to give me their opinion on parenting when you never asked. Today whilst shopping in Boots and picking up some dummy clips to stop Tristan from launching them out his pushchair the lady serving told me I needed to break thay habbit soon as he’s too big for a dummy. Mr T is 17 months old and when hes tired or teething i am more than happy to let him have a dummy and until he stops napping in the day i will make no plans to take it away just like i did with my daughter. I’m sure the comment didnt come from a nasty place, but I get so fed up of always feeling judged and being made to feel I need to justify my parenting choices when my children are happy and healthy. Miss J happily had her dummy until she was three years old until she stopped napping in the day. I didnt want to risk her dropping her nap in the day for my own selfish needs because I was heavily pregnant with SPD and that hour rest is what kept me going through the day.

Mr T is STILL breastfeeding at 17 months old, whilst showing no signs of stopping and i have felt I’ve had to justify this for many reasons as surely as ive gone this far I will probably have to move into his halls at university so he can have his ‘bitty’. It was my intention to feed until 12 months, but when I went back to work he adjusted so well to just feeding morning and night I’ve carried on. The world health organisations recommends breastfeeding until 2 years and if Mr T wants to then I’m fine with that. Am I selfish for wanting to go this far? Possibly i am, as when my baby wakes first thing in the morning I get an extra ten minutes cuddle time and at night or when he’s teething I can comfort him in a minute. It works for us and thats all I care about.

Parenting choices are personal and have reason. Whether you co-sleep, formula feed, or cry it out, who has the right to tell you that it’s wrong? No one should feel that they have the right to undermine a mothers role with critical opinions. We all need to support each other and respect other peoples choices. Parenting is hard so let’s try and do what we can to make it easier for everyone.

Facebooktwitterpinterestlinkedinrssinstagram